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The Things We Say
Have you ever stopped to really pay attention to some of the things we say in our day-to-day conversations? Now some of them I can half-way understand, but some phrases we use should just not be said at all! They don’t make a lick of sense. Whatever that means? Take a look at these phrases and let me know if you feel the same way.
- My dogs sure are tired. ( I suppose that means feet – but why not just say feet?)
- Why do they call it a hot water heater? (Isn’t hot water already hot? Why heat it up again?)
- Lawyers, dentists and doctors all seem to practice what they do. (I don’t know about you, but I think I would much rather go to someone who wasn’t still practicing at what they do.)
- Menopause – (Now really, what does that have to do with men? The only thing I can think of is we are the ones that get griped at if the temperature is not right in the house.)
- I think I’ll go jump in the shower. (Really! Don’t you think you could get a lot cleaner if you weren’t jumping all around in the shower?)
- Do you want to run to the store with me? (Why is it when you ask me to run to the store that you end up taking the car? Just tell me I don’t need to go get my running clothes on to run the five miles to the store and back. By the way, how are you going to get all that stuff you buy back to the house?)
- Now tell me what is a bait and switch? (Why would you want to spank your minnows before you put them on the line to fish?)
- Okay so what is it with the term CAT scan? (Most cats I have ever seen end up sleeping most of their life and don’t have much time with their eyes open to scan anything.)
- That movie was the cat’s meow. (The movie had nothing to do with cats or meowing!)
- My dog is a good watchdog! (Okay – well keeping time I guess is important but most people use their iPhones for that now.)
- He was sitting on the fence in that conversation. (I just hope the fence didn’t have barbed wire at the top.)
- She was a real card shark. (Is that a shark that eats bloody cards or what?)
- So tell me what does partly cloudy mean? (Is that different from partly sunny?)
- He said he was all fired up and ready to play ball. (Okay – I suppose we should bring some fire extinguishers or at least have your finger on the ready to call 911 on your cell phone.)
- I ate so much I am as fat as a pig. (So why pick on pigs. Aren’t there other animals that are bigger like cows, whales, bears, and walruses to name a few.)
- She was as big as a barn. (Why pick on barns? I know there are other buildings that are much bigger.)
- Take a picture, it lasts longer. (I get it, quit staring at me)
- Can you please cut to the chase? (I think this referred to the old silent films where they had chase scenes and they were the best part. How many people do you know that have ever even seen a silent film?)
- That’s no bull.
- Full as a bull.
- The check is in the mail. (Don’t a lot of people online or by credit card now?)
- Crazy as a loon. ( So how do you determine if a loon is crazy? – Is there some sort of psychological testing that can be done on birds?)
- The lights are on but no one is home. (It seems like that sure would waste a lot of electricity to me unless you were trying to fool the burglars for some reason not a bad idea.)
- He was a few cards short of a full deck. (If that is the case, then why even have a card game?)
- She was barking up a dead tree. (Is that different from barking down a dead tree or barking at a dead tree?)
- I’m on the clock. (If you are on the clock it is probably worthless now!)
- He was preaching to the choir. (I thought the choir needs preaching just like everyone else?)
- She was a real corker. (What?)
- I see his lips moving but he’s not saying anything worthwhile. ( I get it! You are talking about a true politician.)
- Don’t let the cat out of the bag? (Now who in their right mind would put a cat in a bag to begin with?)
- Happy as two peas in a pod. (How do you determine the happy factor for peas?)
- He was half a bubble off. (If it’s not level then try to level things up – if that doesn’t work, get a new level.)
- They said the new iPhones were selling like hot cakes. (I suppose hot cakes generally sell fast, at least at IHOP unless it is a slow day?)
- Time to hit the hay.
- Sweet dreams.
Teddy & Cowgirl New Book
I just published my new children’s book “Teddy & Cowgirl” which is now available at Amazon in ebook format and will soon be available at Barnes & Noble and other online stores as a paperback. Teddy & Cowgirl is a great little children’s book with best friends – Teddy & Cowgirl together for the first time in this bundle book. Children as well as adults will love this little book and can’t help but smile and laugh all the way through at these funny little animals. It was a great pleasure for me to be able to put this new book together for children and to bring them joy. If you know some little ones who you want to make happy and keep them smiling and laughing – check it out at the link below.
Rant Day
Too Much Rain
I’m not sure what it is? Maybe it’s because it has been raining almost non-stop where I live here in Oklahoma and I am getting a wee bit tired of it all! I don’t know exactly why, but I just feel like ranting a bit here today. Have you ever had those days where things get on your nerves? Here is a list of some things that get on my nerves.
1. It upsets me when people try to get on the elevator and I am trying to get off at the same time without giving me any room to get off the elevator. Don’t they know it’s a common courtesy to let someone get off first. It would sure make things easier on everyone if they would just give you maybe 3 seconds to get off the elevator without piling inside and bowling you over tying to get on.
2. I get upset when someone starts talking over me when I ask a question. At least let me finish the question and then you can start talking. That just tells me you don’t really care about what I am saying and aren’t really listening to me.
3. I don’t like it when someone rides so close to the back of my car that you can literally only put a few sheets of paper between the bumpers. I know you’re in a hurry, but come one!
4. I can’t stand it when someone asks me if I’m okay and they don’t really want the truth. They just want to speak those words and make conversation. Don’t ask me if you don’t really want to know!
5. I don’t like it when someone does not plan properly and then it somehow becomes an emergency for me to help them out of the jam.
6. I can’t stand it when people just throw their litter, cigarette butts, gum, and whatever on the ground for someone else to pick up. Clean up after yourself! Good grief the world is not your moma!
7. It really gets on my nerves when people with dogs do not pick up their dogs messes and leave them for someone else to step in or on. That is just rude and inconsiderate to the extreme dimension! You should just post a sign on your back that says I don’t really care about other people!
8. It bothers me when someone talks so loud in a restaurant that everyone in the entire restaurant can hear their conversation. Either they must be drunk, don’t care, or just naturally have a loud voice. If it’s the latter, try putting on your inside voice instead of using the outside one okay!
9. I can’t stand those kind of people who are always sarcastic when they talk to you. There has to be something mentally wrong going on there for that to always be the case.
10. I can’t stand those know-it all types either who think they know everything about everything when in reality they know nothing about nothing. They enjoy the game of one upsmanship and can’t wait to start playing.
11. I can’t stand it when right after a loss of someone dear to you someone says ” Well you know they are in a better place.” That may be true, but right at the moment I miss them and that somehow does not comfort me. I just want to talk about them, what they meant to me, and to know you care about me and my feelings and what I am going through.
12. I can’t stand those people who sit next to you on an airplane and never shut up the entire flight. Come on, drink a coke, eat some peanuts, sit back and enjoy the ride so that I can!
13. I can’t stand when people are consistently late to appointments they make. That just tells me one thing, either you are so disorganized in your life, or you really don’t care about me and my time!
14. It gets on my nerves when you use all the toilet paper and leave an empty roll for me to use. Come on, changing the roll out is really not that hard to do. If you need instructions, I will gladly show you how to do it.
15. I really can’t stand it when people start talking or texting or playing games on their phone in the movie theater. Go outside if you need to do that!
16. I can’t stand it when other people steal something from someone else. The other day I was in a major store – I won’t say which one. I went into the men’s bathroom and there on the floor were several stickers that looked like someone had taken off clothes. I am sure they stole them. I told the janitor that it looked to me like someone was stealing clothes in the bathroom when I was leaving and this is what he said. ” Oh yeah – it happens all the time, at night mainly – they steal clothes, pregnancy tests, and whatever they can hide.” I recommended in jest that they start putting cameras in the bathrooms to catch them and all he did was smile when I walked out.
Okay so I guess I have done enough ranting for today. If it keeps on raining, I may come up with some more to share with you. So what about you, is there anything that gets on your nerves?
Rescued From Being Shot
Rescued From Being Shot
Happy Friday to you! If this does not make you smile, I am not quite sure what will!
This newborn pup was recently rescued from being shot by it’s owner. The owner claims they did not want the dog and if someone did not take it, their next steps were to shoot it. This puppy will live another day it looks like.
HONK WHEN YOU PASS
So let me ask you a question if I can. Are you supposed to honk before passing someone on the highway? If you answered no you are only supposed to pass to warn someone of something you would be partly correct. That answer does not apply in the town of Yukon, Oklahoma where I went to high school. Yukon is situated just off Route 66 so there is a lot of traffic coming through town.
According to the law in the City of Yukon, you must honk before passing someone. It is a strange law I agree, but nonetheless it is on the books. Take a look at some of these other strange laws that Oklahoma has that I bet you never knew existed.
– Tattoos used to be against the law in Oklahoma until the law was repealed in 2006.
– It is against the law to read a comic book while operating a motor vehicle.
– Tissues are not to be found in the back seat of one’s car.
– In Wynona, Oklahoma you may not drink out of bird baths and you can not wash clothes in bird baths either.
– It is illegal to wear your boots to bed.
– Violators can be fined , arrested or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog.
– No one may spit on a sidewalk.
– Oklahoma will not tolerate anyone taking a bite out of another’s hamburger.
– In Oklahoma City no one may walk backwards downtown while eating a hamburger.
– In Tulsa you may not open a soda bottle without the supervision of a licensed engineer.
You might think I am making all of this up, but this is true. Do you have any weird laws where you live?
THANK YOU FRIENDS
It has been a pretty good year. I have met a lot of great friends in the blogging world, and on top of that my daughter just got married to a wonderful man. I am also in pretty decent health now thanks to many of your recommendations. We have shared a lot here between us and I am glad to have met each one of you. GOD has blessed me.
I have been blessed by all of you and I wanted to do something nice for you. This Wednesday, March 18th and Thursday, March 19th I am making (6) e-book versions of my books available for free on Amazon.
You can go to the following links starting tomorrow to get a free copy of your choice. The top three are memoir type books while the bottom three are children’s books.
Oklahoma Ride Guideposts for Life
Ride on Time Matters of the Heart
If you are able to post a review for me later on Amazon or Goodreads, or both that would certainly be appreciated.
Hope you enjoy the books!
Katie the Kid Changer
Katie the Kid Changer – Barnes and Noble – Amazon
Katie the Kid Changer – Kindle
I just wanted to let you know that my new children’s book, “Katie the Kid Changer” is now available as a paperback on Amazon and at Barnes and Noble. The Kindle version is available as a pre-order now and will be released this Friday, March 6th.
Katie is the story of a young eight year old girl and how she would change the world we live in if she were in charge. In Katie’s world;horses fly, dogs and cats speak in a human voice, every kid will be given one million dollars to spend however they choose, people will never grow old or get sick, there will be no more wars, kids will never be abused, and parents will never get divorced. Katie has her perfect world all figured out. Our world is due for a big change with Katie in charge!
COWGIRL
I just wanted to let you know that my new children’s book “Cowgirl the Smiling Doggie” has just been published and is now available on Amazon. I really have had a fun time putting together this little book for children and I think they will really enjoy it.
You can’t help but fall in love with this adorable little animal. She really is a little sweetheart. If you know of anyone who might be interested please let them know. Thank you for all of your support!
You can find “Cowgirl the Smiling Doggie” by clicking on the link here.
Tony A. Smith 