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Paraprosdokian Days
According to Wikipedia, a paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, and sometimes provides an anticlimax.
Take a look at some of these and you can see what I mean….
– Change is inevitable except from a vending machine.
– A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
– You are never too old to learn something stupid.
– Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
– I used to be indecisive and now I’m not sure.
– Hospitality is making your guests feel like they’re at home even if you wish they were.
– The voices in my head may not be real; but, the have some good ideas!
– Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “if an emergency, notify:” I put DOCTOR.”
– Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
– You don’t need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
– I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
– Why does someone believe you when you say there are 4 billion stars but check when you say the paint is wet?
– Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
– To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
Things Are Changing Cowboy
John Wayne – PD
A few days ago I had an opportunity to do some research on the history of an old historical house in the Muskogee, Oklahoma area at the Muskogee library for a local real estate company. The house was built way back around 1900 before Oklahoma became a state. Oklahoma was actually the 46th state in the union after President Theodore Roosevelt signed the proclamation for statehood on November 16, 1907. Prior to that time it was designated as Indian territory.
To give you an idea as to what Muskogee was like back in those days I found some old articles in the Muskogee Daily Phoenix ( Muskogee, Indian Territory) dated Friday December 23, 1904 that I wanted to share with you.
Strayed or Stolen
“Two mules, one black, and one grey mule. Both branded “S” on left shoulder, and hip. Liberal reward will be paid for their return to OK Yard, North C. St. Muskogee, I.T.”
J.H. Neil, A Prisoner in the Federal Prison Jail Died Yesterday
“J.H. Neil – A prisoner in the federal jail, died yesterday of consumption. Neil was confined on a charge of introducing liquor. He was a white man, fifty years of age, and has been in jail since December 9, and was brought here from Sapulpa.
There is a story rumored that Neil was a well to do farmer near Sapulpa and was arrested on account of having in his possession a small amount of whisky. This story however, does not seem probable, as Neil’s bail was fixed very low, and if the story were true he could no doubt have given bond.”
To give you a better understanding as to what things were like in those days here are a few facts about the year 1904 in the United States.
The average wage was around 22 cents per hour and I am very sorry to say there were no cell phones back in those days. Can you imagine someone in today’s world trying to make it one single day without the use of their cell phone? As a matter of fact, only 8 in 100 people had a landline telephone. If you wanted to take a bath in a bathtub, you might just have to borrow the neighbor’s tub since only about 14 in 100 households had such a thing as a bathtub. I am sure that most people did not take a bath every day back then. The powder business might have been a good business to be in with the lack of tubs. You also didn’t have to worry about car accidents too much since there were only 8000 automobiles in the entire United States. People also had to get a lot of living done in a hurry since most people on average only made it to about the age of 47.
Fast forward several decades to 2015 and take a look at the headlines of the July 23, 2015 Muskogee Newspaper. The cost of the newspaper today is 75 cents which has risen by 70 cents since the 1904 edition.
Sex Crime Suspect Found in Indiana
“An Indiana man is facing extradition to Muskogee to face charges in Muskogee County District Court for lewd or indecent acts to a child under 16”
Women’s Defense Course Planned
“A Tahlequah police officer wants women to take advantage of a free class geared at teaching women how to avoid becoming a victim. The particular class she is teaching is rape aggression defense systems. RAD for short – The class is designed to teach adult women 18 and over, enough to defend themselves.”
And here are a few articles in the sports section of the local Tulsa World newspaper on June 11, 2015.
OSSAA Approves First Transgender Policy For Athletes
“The Oklahoma Secondary School Activities Association Board of Directors unanimously approved policy Tuesday regarding the eligibility of transgender student athletes making Oklahoma the most recent state to adopt a similar policy.
The policy comes eight days after a Vanity Fair article spotlighted the recent transition of former Olympic gold medal winner Bruce Jenner to the transgender woman Caitlyn Jenner.”
Legislator: OSSAA Should Allow Prayer in Playoffs
“Oklahoma City – State Rep Bobby Cleveland said Wednesday the Oklahoma Secondary School Activities Association should allow school prayer at playoff games….”
This is what the current OSSAA prayer policy states.
Policy 19 – of OSSAA Handbook enacted in 1992
“In view of the current law, no school, individual, group or organization may publicly recite a prayer to all attendees and participants to pray, whether audibly or in silence at OSSAA championship events, or at regional, area, district or other playoff events leading to championship events. This policy applies even if the proposed prayer is non denominational, or is offered voluntarily by a student, or a parent or other adult who is not associated with OSSAA or a member school….”
My how things have changed from the early days in Oklahoma. I do wonder what will have happened by the next one hundred years in the year 2115. I can remember thinking as a kid what it would be like to live in the year 2000. It sounded so far off and I wasn’t sure if I would ever make it that far. Well that has come and gone and I do believe that 3000 might be out of the question for me.
It is evident in reading some of the old newspaper articles compared to today, that in the past 100 or so years that things have changed and that we have drifted pretty far from GOD. I am not sure what all of the repercussions might be as a result of our drift, but the apostle Paul did have a few things to say about what might happen in cutting our ties loose from GOD. He states it pretty clear in Romans 1:28-31
Romans 1:28-31 KJV
“And even as they did not like to retain GOD in their knowledge, GOD gave them over to a reprobate mind filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness, full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity, whisperers, backbiters, haters of GOD, respiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, without understanding, covenant breakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful.”
As the father of English literature – Geoffrey Chaucer once said
“Time and tide wait for no man”
Let’s just hope that we tie our ropes back in the proper place before a tsunami plows us under.
Perspective
PERSPECTIVE
Are you worried about anything today? Sometimes we worry about decisions we have made in the past which we can do nothing about. Sometimes our worries have to do with what other people think about us. Sometimes we worry about our health, and most of the time what we worry about is not worth worrying about at all.
Sometimes when we change our point of view and get above our problems we tend to see things we could not see before about a situation we may be having difficulties with. Perhaps the answer is in stopping to talk things over with a close friend or someone who has been through similar circumstances. Maybe all it takes is to go for a long walk or to sleep on it. The subconscious mind has an amazing way to work things through when we are sleeping, or change our focus. You might also try praying about something you have no answers for and is troubling you.
Whatever the difficulty may be, sometimes it is a good idea to change your way of looking at things by getting above your problems in some way. Your perspective does have a way of changing the outcome of things. Finally, forget about worrying, because after all, it really never accomplishes anything at all.
Katie the Kid Changer
Katie the Kid Changer – Barnes and Noble – Amazon
Katie the Kid Changer – Kindle
I just wanted to let you know that my new children’s book, “Katie the Kid Changer” is now available as a paperback on Amazon and at Barnes and Noble. The Kindle version is available as a pre-order now and will be released this Friday, March 6th.
Katie is the story of a young eight year old girl and how she would change the world we live in if she were in charge. In Katie’s world;horses fly, dogs and cats speak in a human voice, every kid will be given one million dollars to spend however they choose, people will never grow old or get sick, there will be no more wars, kids will never be abused, and parents will never get divorced. Katie has her perfect world all figured out. Our world is due for a big change with Katie in charge!
SHIRLEY TEMPLE DAYS
Shirley Temple Book Signing Novi, Michigan
This is a picture of the legendary child star “Shirley Temple Black” at the signing of her autobiography entitled “Child Star : An Autobiography” in 1989 in Novi, Michigan. My wife and daughter visited a local Borders Book store where Shirley was signing books. They snapped a picture of her that day and were able to pick up a copy of one of her autographed books.
Shirley Temple started making movies at the age of three years old in 1932 and went on to star in several movies like “Curly Top, The Little Colonel, The Littlest Rebel, Heidi, Our Little Girl, Bright Eyes, Captain January, Poor Little Rich Girl, Stowaway, and Dimples” among others. She was at the top of the box office charts from 1935-1938 and started out making only $125 per week.
She was in my opinion one of the greatest child stars of all time. She also faithfully served her country as a United States Ambassador to Ghana and later Czechoslovakia. Our country has certainly changed a lot since those days in the 1930’s when Shirley Temple made her run of fame.
Haven’t we as a country kind of lost our innocence as a country with all that has happened and how we have changed. America used to have such a wholesome image as portrayed in the films made popular by Shirley Temple. Where did we lose our way? What happened to us?
I long for those Shirley Temple days again. Can we have just a few more of those kind of days or have we strayed too far off course?
The Road of Life
One of the most unpredictable things in life is a construction project and the eventual outcome. There are too many variables that can affect construction. Any time you are dealing with manpower, material, weather, natural disasters, and unexpected events, you might as just well plan on some sort of changes along the way. It can become nearly impossible to predict exactly when your move in day may be.
Here are some examples
– The drywall you had planned for the walls of your house is delayed because of a truck break-down on the side of the highway.
– Your electricians didn’t show up to run the wiring since they got backlogged on another job. They said they would return tomorrow.
– A fire breaks out and burns up one of your rooms on an addition that is just underway on your house.
– A severe downpour in the neighborhood where your house is being built floods your basement which ends up delaying your move in by four weeks.
– You just found out the carpet you selected for your new house has been discontinued.
– The plumber tells you that the fixtures you selected for the bathrooms arrived by truck yesterday but they were broken. It will take three weeks to get the same fixtures now.
– The wall covering that is coming from Finland arrived yesterday however the builder only ordered for eight foot high walls. Your walls are nine feet high which means you will be short wall covering!
– Your brick mason tells you today that the brick you selected will now cost $3000 more due to unexpected increases in fuel costs and freight charges.
– The rafters that the lumber company dropped on site yesterday were stolen. It takes an additional week to get more rafters to the site.
– The concrete that was delivered to the site does not meet strength requirements for the slab and has to be torn out.
I suppose that’s how life can be sometimes as well. We can’t control all aspects of our life. The only thing we can do is to do the best we can with what we have to work with. We can choose to roll with the unexpected things in life as they come along or we can whine and cry. We can kick the dirt and stir up some dust, but after the dust settles all we really have is a big dirt pile and dust in our nostrils. The road of life is paved with change. As my wife’s grandmother used to say – “life is life”. She was one wise lady!
Tony A. Smith 